For Whom The Dart Tows

Aug 29, 2005

RAY: Many years ago, I received a late night phone call from my brother: I knew it was one of two things - either his wife threw him out and he needed a place to sleep, or his car had broken down.

TOM: Or both!

RAY: Right. This time, though, it's his car. He says, "I need help. Do you have a rope to tow with?"

I say, "Yeah. Sure. I'll be right there." So, I watch Ted Koppel and the "Tonight Show," I take a shower and I make a sandwich... and then I decide to head out and give him a hand.

I arrive with my car; tow rope in hand. He's asleep in the car, snuggled up with one of his favorite raccoons. He wakes up, and tells me what's wrong.

I say, "I can't tow you, you knucklehead."

And Tommy says, "We only have a few blocks to go. I'll tow you."

I say, "Huh?" But he's right.

The question is, what's wrong with his car? Now, don't forget: Tommy's the one that broke down and he's going to tow me back.

TOM: How could this be?
RAY: The reason he can tow me and I can't tow him is that his brakes have failed. Because I have a rope, if I tow him when I stop, he's going to slam into me. But if he tows me and when he needs to stop, he can signal me and by my stepping on the brakes --

TOM: You stop me.

RAY: Exactly. I will stop him as well. Pretty cute! Huh?

TOM: That's very good. Our winner is... another name I can't pronounce. Marian Fruehwald from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

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