Aug 31, 2020
RAY: Our erstwhile producer, Dougie Berman, was diagnosed recently with a rare disease -- chronic laziness. If not treated, it could be fatal.
The doctor prescribed two different kinds of pills and said, "They have to be taken simultaneously, at bedtime, every night. Take one from one bottle, and one from the other. It's the interaction of the two pills that is the key."
Dougie's got 10 pills in each bottle. But, if he makes the mistake of taking two of the same pill, he's done for.
If he only takes one pill, he’s done for, again.
He decides to convalesce at his remote mountain cabin, and he begins the six-hour drive to get there. But his car breaks down, and he has to walk the last 20 miles clutching these two bottles of pills -- the only thing between him and the Grim Reaper.
He arrives after dark. He's so weak that delirium has begun to set in.
As he makes his way to the kitchen sink, he stumbles and falls and, you guessed it, he spills all the pills. When he wakes up, he finds that one of the containers has two pills in it, the other container is empty, and there are 18 pills scattered all over the floor.
He begins to gather up the pills. As he's looking at them he discovers to his horror that they all look alike. They're the same color, shape and size. There's no way to tell them apart.
He's getting weaker by the minute. But, he remembers that he has his very own, very accurate, "analytic" scale, the kind that a pharmacist would use.
But, by the time he weighs the 11th pill, his worst fear is confirmed. Not only do they all look and feel and smell alike but they all weigh the same.
There's absolutely no way to distinguish one pill from another.
Is there a way for him to take the recommended dosage and save his life, or should we let in the Grim Reaper and start looking for a new producer?
RAY: The only hope he has is to take the pills that he has, all 20 of them, and grind them up into a powder, mix the powder up, and then divide the powder into 10 equal piles.
And he can take one, little pile of powder every night at the right time, thus cheating death.