Gilligan, Skipper and a Case of Pellegrino

Jul 27, 2012

RAY: You are kidnapped and unceremoniously dumped on a deserted island in the Pacific. And you have yet to meet up with Mr. and Mrs. Howell and Professor and Mary Ann. But this island is 10 miles long and about a hundred yards wide, and it's completely covered with grass and palm trees. Your captors have been nice enough to give you a few things to assist you in surviving. They've given you a supply of water, a life-size poster of Ginger Grant, a flashlight, a box of matches, and a blankie.
TOM: How nice.
RAY: The first day, you walk around the island and you notice that you've got no chance of escape because the island is sheer drop-off all around, 500 feet onto sharp rocks into shark-infested waters. So, there is no escape from this island, and you go to sleep that first night under your blankie, and you're awakened the next morning by the sound of thunder and the bright flash of lightning.
TOM: Oh-oh. I'm not going to like this.
RAY: And you realize that lightning has struck the far end of the island. You're approximately in the middle, so five miles away from you, lightning has struck and has set the grass and palm trees on fire. And as luck would have it, there's a breeze blowing from the fire toward you.
And you can imagine that everything, everything on the island is going to be toasted. Including your butt unless you think quickly.
And the question is: How do you save your sorry butt until your wife can pay off the ransom?

RAY: Let's recap. The fire is pushing the flames in your direction at a rate of, say, two miles an hour. So if you run to the other end of the island, you've got five hours until it reaches you, and you know that everything on the island is going to be toasted, including you, unless you think quick.
TOM: Yeah!
RAY: And don't forget what you got. You got a flashlight. A life-size poster of Ginger Grant. A box of matches. A space blanket. And a case of San Pellegrino.
You could douse yourself with the San Pellegrino, right? But that's not going to last long.
TOM: You could douse the space blanket, but it won't absorb any of the water because it's, what? A space blanket.
RAY: Right. You could cover yourself with the space blanket and hope that the trees leave enough oxygen behind for you to breathe.
However, you save yourself with the matches. You turn around with your back to the fire. And you light the grass on fire in front of you. The same wind that's blowing that fire toward you, is going to blow the new fire toward the end of the island and leave behind a place where there's nothing combustible.
TOM: Oh! Man! This is great!
RAY: And you'll escape, but you'll only last two more days because there'll be nothing to eat on the island, and you'll be dead, but you'll have gotten two more days!

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