Bob Duffy sent the following letter
Though you haven't mentioned it lately, you have in the past expressed what I can only describe as an unhealthy interest in Sonja Henie's tutu. (This particular obsession is a mystery to me-what's the big deal? On the other hand, I would give just about anything for one of Esther Williams's bathing caps. Hubba, hubba.)
Be that as it may, and at the risk of exacerbating your problem, I bring to your attention the following tidbit.
Recently, while perusing a professional journal, I came across an announcement in the back, under the ad for the X-ray sunglasses that enable you to see through people's clothing. (They don't work, by the way.) According to this notice an upcoming government property auction is going to offer, along with jeeps still in their packing crates, World War II C rations still as good as the day they were thrown at the enemy in disgust by the men they had been inflicted upon, and fully functional 155 mm howitzers for less than $100, one of the garments you so covet.
As to how it came to be in the possession of the U.S. government, I have been told by a reliable source that it was found in the late J. Edgar Hoover's closet, in the back, all the way on the left.
Use this information as you see fit. And for heaven's sake, get some counseling, it's worked for me.