The School of What?

Excerpted from the book "Dumb, Dumber, Dumbest"
(c)1996 by John J. Kohut and Roland Sweet

Missouri Assistant Attorney General Erich Vieth got a court order to bar the International Commission for Schools from issuing any future college accreditations in the state after it granted one to a fictitious school created by the Attorney General's office.

Vieth's office had asked the commission to accredit Eastern Missouri Business College, a college they described as granting doctorates through the mail in fields such as marine biology, genetic engineering, and aerospace science. College faculty included: "Arnold Ziffel," the name of the pig on the old Green Acres; "Edward J. Haskell" from Leave it to Beaver; and M. Howard, Jerome Howard and Lawrence Fine -- the Three Stooges.

The college seal in Latin read "Solum Pro Avibus Est Educatio"and "Latrocinia Et Raptus," loosely translated as "Education is for the birds" and "Everything from petty theft to highway robbery."

Commission president George Reuter Jr. responded by pointing out, "The attorney general made a big deal out of the fact I didn't know who the Three Stooges were. Well, we've been to about two movies in the last five years, and we don't know Latin."

[ As Read on Car Talk ]