Memorable Mergers

Just got this in my in-box and it sounds right up your alley.

As you all know, the stock market has not been in the greatestshape lately. It seems that, because of current economic conditions, manycompanies are contemplating mergers and acquisitions. Here are afew to keep an eye on:

1. Xerox and Wurlitzer (They're going to make reproductiveorgans.)

2. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers (The newcompany will be called Fairwell Honeychild)

3. Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler (The newcompany will be called Poly-Warner-Cracker)

4. W.R. Grace Co., Fuller Brush Co., Mary Kay Cosmetics, andHale Business Systems (The new company will be called Hale,Mary, Fuller, Grace)

5. 3M and Goodyear (The new company will be called MMM Good)

6. John Deere and Abitibi-Price (The new company will becalled Deere Abi)

7. Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil (The new company will becalled Honey, Im Home)

8. Denison Mines, Alliance, and Metal Mining (The newcompany will be called Mine All Mine)

9. Grey Poupon and Dockers Pants (The new company will becalled Poupon Pants)

10. Knott's Berry Farm and the National Organization forWomen (The new company will be called Knott NOW)

11. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining (The new company will be called Zip Audi Do-Da)

12. Motorola and Enron (The new company will be called MORON)

Joel Gwynn

[ As Read on Car Talk ]