Haikus for Jews

Filling this gap in poetic literature, David M. Bader has recently written a book entitled Haikus for Jews.

Here are a few examples of his poetry:

Hey! Get back indoors!
Whatever you were doing
could put an eye out.

Firefly steals into
the night just like my former
partner, that gonif.

Testing the warm milk
on her wrist, she beams; nice, but
her son is forty.

Lovely nose ring;
excuse me while I put my
head in the oven.

After the warm rain,
the sweet scent of camellias.
Did you wipe your feet?

Today I am a
man. On Monday I return
to the seventh grade.

Is one Nobel Prize
so much to ask from a child
after all I've done?

Left the door open
for the Prophet Elijah.
Now our cat is gone.

In the ice sculpture
reflected bar-mitzvah guests
nosh on chopped liver.

Beyond Valium,
the peace of knowing one's child
is an internist.

The same kimono
the top geishas are wearing.
Got it at Loehmann's.

Jewish triathlon:
gin rummy, then contract bridge,
followed by a nap.

Scrabble anarchy
after "putzhead" is placed on
a triple-word score.

The sparkling blue sea
beckons me to wait one hour
after my sandwich.

Hava nagila,
hava nagila, hava....
enough already.

Today, mild shvitzing.
Tomorrow, so hot you'll plotz.
Five-day forecast: feh.

Lonely mantra of
Jewish mother: "They never
call, they never write."

No fins, no flippers
the gefilte fish swims with
some difficulty.

Yenta. Schmier. Gevalt.
Schlemiel. Schlemazl. Tuchus.
Oy! To be fluent!