Grossly overweight Louth turfcutter, 42 years old and 23 stone, Gemini, seeks nimble lady, preferably South American, for tango sessions, candlelit dinners and humid nights of screaming passion. Must have own car and be willing to travel.
Following a sad recent loss, teetotal Tipperary man, 53, seeks replacement mammy. Must like biscuits and answer to the name Minnie. Thurles area.
Heavy drinker, 35, Cork area, seeks gorgeous woman interested in pints, fags, Glasgow Celtic football club and starting scraps on Patrick Street at three in the morning.
Bitter, disillusioned Kerryman lately rejected by longtime fiancee seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists in this cruel world of hatchet-faced witches.
Artistic Clare woman, 53, petite, loves rainy walks on the beach, writing poetry, unusual sea-shells and interesting brown rice dishes, seeks mystic dreamer for companionship, back rubs and more as we bounce along like little tumbling clouds on life's beautiful crazy journey. Strong stomach essential.
Chartered accountant, 42, seeks female for marriage. Duties will include cooking, light cleaning and accompanying me to office social functions. References required. No time wasters.
Bad-tempered, foul-mouthed old man living in a damp cottage in the Roscommon seeks attractive 21-year-old blonde lady with big chest.
Devil-worshiper, Offaly area, seeks like-minded lady for wining and dining, good conversation, dancing, romantic walks and slaughtering cats in cemeteries at midnight under the flinty light of a pale moon.
Attractive brunette, Macroom area, winner of Miss Wrangler competition at Jolenes Nightclub, Macroom, in September 1978, seeks nostalgic man who's not afraid to cry, for long nights spent comfort drinking and listening to old Abba records. Please, Please!
Limerick man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for the night of February 27 between 8pm and 11.30pm.