Vlad the Impala

Guest Bloggers

Guest Bloggers | Jul 29, 2013

By Jim Hanna

I'm regaining my equilibrium after Consumer Reports' review of the 2014 Chevy Impala drastically reconfigured the order of the automotive universe. The new Impala just opened a can of whoop-ass that has been rusting since 1963.

The 2014 Impala has just been given an "excellent" rating of 95 out of 100 by Consumer Reports. (Chevrolet photo)

This prompts a look back at the Impalas of my past: My friend James in Atlanta has a pristine '63 SS Convertible, 327, 4-speed, love-it-want-it-can't-have-it.

(Image courtesy of Affordable Classics, Inc.)

A guy I worked with drove a '72 he called Vlad the Impala because it sucked gas and scared villagers.

Anybody remember the '75 "Glass House"? Perfect if you couldn't decide between a Buick Electra or an AMC Pacer.

There was the '78 wagon my buddy's mom had that hemorrhaged oil so bad, we called it the Impala Valdez.

I nearly bought a '95 Impala SS but decided not to when I realized I didn't need a semi-fast 4,000 pound throat lozenge.

All I remember about the '09 LTZ we rented for a Vegas trip was the excellent AC and the fun I had echo-squealing the lousy tires in an empty parking garage. Definitely more can than can opener.

Got a fav Impala (or Caprice for you fancy pants Heineken drinkers)? Would you consider buying this new world-beater?

Get the Car Talk Newsletter

Got a question about your car?

Ask Someone Who Owns One