I must inform you of my shock and surprise at hearing you say that the new Beetle is a chick car. I was so sure that it was a gay-guy car that my partner and I decided, after 10 years of domestic bliss, to purchase our very first car: a dark-blue new Beetle.
About a week later, a friend of mine from upstate sent me an urgent fax which quite obviously confirmed my assumption. It read: "News flash: two cute gay guys spotted exiting a brand new canary yellow Beetle in downtown Trumansburg."
What do I drive? A Wrangler. (And a VW Jetta for the good mileage.) It's a regular boy-magnet!
Being a car nut as well as being gay, I feel eminently qualified to give you the lowdown. Gay cars: Lexus, Honda, and any convertible. Lesbian cars: 1966 Chevy C20 pickups with manual steering and a straight six (forgive the pun).
But who really cares what lesbians drive? They are never around to help fix your car when it breaks down anyway. For the record, I drive a Buick Park Avenue
I am a lesbian who drives a 1987 Volvo 240 wagon. I love Volvos, especially the wagonsand Volkswagens, especially the Bug.
So, what does she have to have to get my attention?
Lesbians seem overwhelmingly to prefer Hondas or Acuras. (They are both practical and good looking.) Look around, guysif you see a rainbow or pink triangle sticker on a car, I bet 75 percent of the time it's on a Honda.
I can't vouch for the boystheyve got their own criteria.
Subarus are unequivocally lesbian cars. They're one of the few car companies to take out full-page ads in queer magazines, and they consistently target the lesbian/bi women population. How many car companies would advertise their cars with a "Xena Lvr" license plate?
The ultimate "country" lesbian "pickup" vehicle is our 1990 F150 Ford half-ton pickup!! Of course, the vanity license plate reads "SAPPHO" (for our more sophisticated community members), and it has a big pink triangle bumper sticker on the back. (Now, up here in Vermont, they just assume we are slow moving and got the color of the triangle wrong!) Even our straight friends get checked out by other women when driving her in town!
Subarus tend to be the vehicle of choice for lesbians, or so I've observed, especially older wagons. Maybe it's the soft lines draped over a rugged chassis?
I can say with confidence that here in the Northwest the Subaru Outback is the most lesbian car. They're rugged and roomy enough to get all of your gear to the campsite, but much easier on the environment than an SUV, thus keeping all your vegetarian eco-feminist friends off your back.
From my experience at least, gay men are less likely to be caught up in the macho head games required by Camaro and Corvette owners. And we're less inclined to own a pickup (lesbians, on the other hand . . . :-)
When my spouse and I first met a few years ago, I had (and still have) a Saturn SL2. My hubby, on the other hand, is *still* driving a 1976 right-hand-drive Toyota Corolla (it's almost as old as he is!).
I've noticed that all of my lesbian friends have one thing in common that tends to be an attractive force when it comes to their cars: massive amounts of poignant liberal bumper stickers. And I mean MASSIVE. More bumper stickers than car.
The typical lesbian car? Jeep Wranglerespecially white with black leather accessories and round headlights. This is, of course, problematic for lesbians, because GMC and JC Penney reneged on their TV ad campaigns when Ellen came out. What are you going to choosepolitics or dates?
Most males who drive Miatas are: a) going through a midlife crisis, or b) gay.
The new Volkswagen Beetle is ONLY for chicks. If I see a guy driving one, I assume he is gay. A sane/straight guy wouldn't be caught DEAD driving one of these in Dallas!
While I have to confess I really love the scene with the seamen singing at the beginning of "South Pacific," I do kind of get a lump in my throat when I park my Golf (diesel = hetero) next to a rainbow-festooned, metallic green (I don't know the swooshy names like puce) Honda with a festively dressed Barbie hanging from the rearview mirror and a vanity license plate that says GAY (no lie). Saturns, especially two- or three-door, also fit this trend. Subarus are market positioned to lesbians by the company
Did you ever buy a used car with bumper stickers? What if you didn't understand them and left them on? High jinks ensue . . .
I nominate the Mazda Miata for obvious reasons. If I see a guy driving one, I instantly assume he's gay.
So you think that a white Cabriolet is a chick car? Well, this guy has a white Cabriolet, complete with white leather interior. It is the quintessential guy carat least if you are a gay guy like me.
I have a delightful chick car for you two. Mine. I just bought a 2001 Volvo V40. Happily, I am a gay man, so I appreciate the included features; however, "MEN" might find it a bit, shall we say, feminine. It looks like a Tic-Tac.
Other clever touches that differentiate this chick car from the rest of the manly pack are the key fob strategically designed to exclude use by men with man-sized fingers and to break under man-sized-finger pressure.
And the dead giveaway that this car was designed for women or gays: The fuel door automatically unlocks itself when you unlock the doors and locks itself when you lock. Ever seen a woman or gay guy taking up space at the gas station trying to figure out how to open the door thingie? Hang out in Silicon Valley with me for a while. They're everywhere.
A few years ago, a large portion of the gay community in Washington, DC, was driving the Honda Accord. Now it seems a lot of people are driving the VW Jetta.
But the car that really gets me to look at the driver is the Saab convertible. Wow! What a sexy car. And it reeks of success, like, "This driver must be some successful company executive with a zest for fun. And he's probably got a beach house that he'd like me to visit!"
By the way, if you happen to know of any single gay men who drive Saab convertibles in the Arlington, Virginia, area, send them my way!
Girl, don't EVEN go there, okay? I'll have you all know that the Jetta is NOT a chick car, it's a gay mans car! That's right! We even have our own car now! Why do you think VW always has two guys in their commercials?
So, don't be tryin' to steal it from us or I'll paint your fingernails with my silver touch-up paint! That should look good hangin' out the window of your rusty F150!
We have a new chick car on the block by its advertising alone. Have you see the new ads for the Subaru Forester? LPGA Pro, Martina Navratilova, and, coming soon, Melissa Ethridge and Ellen DeGeneres. All this car needs is an Indigo Girls CD in the stereo.