If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive a Little Better
If At First You Don't Succeed... Blame Someone Else and Seek Counseling
If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer
Horn Broken... Watch For Finger
It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put the Booger
You're Just Jealous Because the Voices Are Talking to Me
I Have The Body of a God... Buddha
This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening to Me
So Many Pedestrians—So Little Time
Cleverly Disguised As a Responsible Adult
If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
Honk If Anything Falls Off
Cover Me. I'm Changing Lanes
He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From the Next Exit
I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits with an Unarmed Person
I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
Where Are We Going and Why Am I In This Hand Basket?
Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over... [Seen upside-down on a Jeep]
Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed for 35 mph Are Also Timed for 70 mph
Guys: No Shirt, No Service. Gals: No Shirt, No Charge [Reported To Be Seen at a Restaurant]
If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba the Hutt?
Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel
Boldly Going Nowhere
Cat: The Other White Meat
Caution—Driver Legally Blonde!
Don't Be Sexist—Broads Hate That
Heart Attacks... God's Revenge for Eating His Cute Little Animal Friends
Honk If You've Never Seen an Uzi Fired From a Car Window
How Many Roads Must a Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?
If You Can't Dazzle Them with Brilliance, Riddle Them with Bullets
Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps the Kids In Touch
Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It!
My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom
Grow Your Own Dope—Plant a Man
All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets