Nice Outfit, Orlando!
Submitted by Orlando from Orwell, VT
Picture this if you will. Orlando Florida, 1986. I had just purchased a 1979 MG Midget from my landlord. The coolest little car ever.
I decided to take a 30-mile solo trip to the beach, to celebrate my new purchase. I drove the MG to my favorite spot, Canaveral National Seashore. It's a beautiful clear day, and the top is down. I was in heaven.
While at the beach, I decided to take a walk and left my belongings unattended. Upon my return, I was horrified to find that someone had gone off with my stuff. They took everything! My flip-flops, t-shirt, Heineken beach umbrella - even my shorts. To make matters worse, I was wearing a lime-green Speedo swimsuit; which I was allowed to wear, because I was in shape and in my early 20's - and it was the 1980's.
Luckily, I had my wallet and car keys, and was able to drive home. But, here is where the nightmare begins. Halfway home, on busy highway 50, I got a flat tire. I had a spare, but the road was unbearably hot. I had no flip-flops, no beach towel, no shorts or shirt. It was just me and my lime-green Speedos.
I had to do something. Searching around, I found a pair of shiny, black cowboy boots behind the passenger seat. (From my landlord, no doubt.) I put them on and began to change the tire.
Naturally, the flat was the front driver's side tire, facing the road! Other drivers were honking their horns and slowing down.
Nobody stopped to help! I'm certain that I looked like a freak. Thank God it was in a time before cell phone cameras and the Internet. I know it would have been a huge hit on YouTube to see a guy in lime green Speedos and black cowboy boots changing a tire on a busy highway.
To this day, every time I go to the beach, I keep a complete outfit in the trunk of my car. And, I no longer wear Speedos. I have surpassed the "Speedo limit," which, in my opinion, is age 25.