Help My Wife

Lee B.
Stokesdale, NC 27357

September 16, 1995

Tom and Ray
c/o "Car Talk"
Car Talk Plaza
P.O. Box 3500
Harvard Square
Cambridge, MA 02238
Dear Tom and Ray:

I have a problem that perplexes me. I hope ya'll can help me.

My wife, Teresa, is an avid listener of your radio show. She refuses to miss even an hour of Car Talk and rearranges her weekend to hear it. She listens to ya'll twice-- Saturday and Sunday. She is a lovely and intelligent but, as you can tell, an easily entertained woman.

I have always been proud of the fact that my wife's language skills are above average. She often astounds me during the week with her animated stories of her work day at a medical research facility.

However, and this is where the problem is revealed, the minute your show comes on, the trash that comes out of her mouth after she hears Click and Clack speak would make a sailor blush. I don't even want to think what it would do to her mother! Here is just a sampling of some of her "expletives:"

"Those boneheads."

"What in the _________ are those knuckleheads talking about?"

"What kind of moron would take this advice?"

"What in the blankity blank does he know about good haircuts and cream rinse?"

"Niemundre" (Which means something nasty in Polish)

"Dang Neanderthals"

You can see why I'm worried. Teresa's language drops to a subintelligable level, but she returns to her old self after a few hours of recovery. She loves you both-- God forbid someone should slander you-- besides herself. Please advise me what to do. It is not like I can trade her in on a newer model or something.


Lee B.

Worried Husband in Stokesdale

P.S. Did I mention that we are expecting our first baby in April and I am concerned that this may be having some ill-effects on our unborn child?

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