Dating Handbook: Pickup Lines and Driving Stories

Dear Click and/or Clack:

In listening to your V's-day show while drafting some boring legal papers today, the theme of meeting beautiful and mysterious women securely esconced in their cars in heavy traffic resonated with me.

My favorite technique for accomplishing this is to use a laser pointer of the type commonly used for making presentations ($34.95 from the Sportman's Guide; 800-888-3006).

The bright red dot, when shined on the dashboard, rivets the attention of the driver and can be directed to draw her attention to you. Of course, care must be exercised not to shine the dot in the driver's eyes, unless your goal is to get a blind date, and to quickly hide the pointer when the target finally looks at you. You can then shrug and start looking around like you have also experienced the strange light. The opening line is obvious: "Did you see that? What was that? A UFO? Have you seen one before? How do you feel about being examined naked under bright lights by an alien?" etc.

I have found some modest success with this technique. I am not sure how much impact the late-model Jaguar XJS convertible which forms the platform from which I wield my light saber of love affects the outcome, but I am sure it is minimal compared to the sense of wonder felt in connection with a shared event with extraterrestrial overtones.

I hope this suggestion helps your listeners. Keep up the good work.


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