Dating Handbook: Pickup Lines and Driving Stories

Zack Leven sent the following letter:

The solution is somewhat unorthodox, but effective just the same. When you see your future wife sitting in the car across from you, the only thing to do is to cough slightly, drool and pass out.

At this moment she will assume that you are the victim of a horrible medical emergency. Her maternal instincts will overcome her, and she will rush to your aid.

Don't be fooled--slick lines only intimidate the fairer sex. But nothing is more attractive to a woman than making a complete idiot of yourself. Sympathy can bring women crumbling to their knees.

Trust me, I should know. I'm an attractive man who always says the right thing and never makes a fool of himself, and I've been single for six years. Because I've attained a state of near-perfection, women don't feel the slightest bit sorry for me, and subsequently pass me by.

[ Tales from the pickup lane, Vol. 2 | Next Letter ]