Dating Handbook: Pickup Lines and Driving Stories

One of the best ways to meet interesting people since the invention of the auto: the accident. Conditions for every personality. What better way to ensure you are going to get her phone number? Sure, you get her driver's license, etc., but you got her number. For those who are more timid in relationships, parking-lot bumper bumps. If you prefer one-time flings--the autobahn. If no commitments is your thing, you should drive in Rhode Island (no insurance mandatory while I was there.) If you are into multiple relationships, I suggest you drive an early-'70s Chrysler Newport. How else can you better predict the financial bracket of your spouse? The old saying, "Why settle for a VW when you can have a Caddy?" The best part is you and your dream girl can have your own little romp and have someone else's insurance flip the bill!

Andrew Bolig

[ Previous Letter | Tales from the pickup lane ]