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As befits a noble road warrior, I suggest putting it on a raft made up of old car seats and inner tubes. Fill it with 10W40 and leaded gas for use in the next world. Take it down to Boston Harbor sprinkle it with gas, light it and set it adrift to join all the heroic Darts of the past. While the environmentalists may not understand the symbolism, Car Guys worldwide will be brought to tears as they observe in quiet reverence.
Don Boito
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An old man like Tom needs a very special car. After all, he needs something to make him feel young again. Tom needs to get a Ferrari.
You see, that way, if his son drives it and wrecks it, there isn't a jury in the world that wouldn't say it was justifiable homicide. Besides, it would be good for his broken heart and shattered ego.
Bob Stewart
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Much like vowels exported to Bosnia, the Dart should be cut up in little pieces and dropped on Belgrade. With a little note attached: Remember the Yugo.
Dan Estabrook
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As an engineer for a major defense contractor, I believe that we have the perfect job for Alex--provided he can be just as effective against other types of vehicles (tanks, trucks, aircraft, etc). Please reply if interested....
Andy
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Entrepreneurial suggestion: We have all seen the rage over sunken vessels such as the Titanic and other, more ancient vessels of transportation: professional diving teams, documentaries, romantic movies, etc. I recommend dropping the Dart (what's left, that is) into the Atlantic Ocean just off the coast. In about 100 years, give or take, interest will begin to stir over the story behind this unique vehicle. This will lead to many financial opportunities for your family and can serve as an inheritance. The beauty of this "time-lapse" inheritance is that Alex will be long gone before it comes to fruition.
Vince Franz
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Your unlucky son? The answer for him is also simple, and yet subtly devious and eternal. See to it that your son marries a nice, beautiful and intelligent Italian girl. This will certainly give you a warm glow as you think about the lifetime of misery he will endure after that inevitable moment when he realizes the honeymoon is over. He will be cleaning garages, putting up and taking down seasonal lawn and house decorations, and taking his "dirty feet off the coffee table, fer gahdsake" for years beyond the number that you have enjoyed the magic of your beloved car.
Whatever you finally do, I wish you and your family the best (and I will light a candle for your son).
Until next time, I bid you peace, love and happy fishing.
Mike Sedik
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Stick some stamps on it and let the post office worry about it.
Ward Herring
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The Dartre should be loaded aboard the space shuttle and released into geosynchronous orbit above Car Talk Plaza.
Alex needs an enema.
Jeff Morgan
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The time has come.
I don't blame you for not recognizing the awesome, terrible truth. If my son Alex were the CHOSEN ONE, the ORACLE OF DESTINY, the CRUCIBLE OF LIFE (you get the picture), I'd probably also be in a state of blind fear and denial.
Embrace the New Truth without fear. As it was foretold so many ages ago, before the turn of the millennium, a PHOENIX forged by the HAND OF MAN shall rise, giving Hope, Light and possibly lower gas prices (it's $1.26/gallon around here) to the groveling, unwashed masses.
Alex will fix the Dartre. His hands will be guided by Divine Inspiration. The nation's Faithful will provide the necessary parts, once the WORD has spread. And the world will awaken to a New Age of HOPE and GRACE.
Yours in THE DARTRE.
The Peabodys of Yreka, California
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My son Christopher, the Car Person of my family, suggests that you (and I am quoting here) "honor the beloved memory of a fine, fine automobile such as the Dart...and rebuild it. Cost should not be an issue, for this is a mission of love.
To continue quoting Christopher: "If you do not repair the Dart, you'll forever shame yourself, your show and the car's memory. There are plenty of parts suppliers, enthusiasts, rust-free sheet metal and skilled body repairmen to make the Dart better than new."
Furthermore, Christopher is convinced that the Dart has entirely too many good parts on it, and that turning it into hundreds or thousands of paperweights would be a crime. The least you can do (I'm quoting again) "is allow others to benefit from your misfortune, and part the Dart."
Linda O'Connor
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Embed the remains of the vehicle above the front door of Car Talk Plaza with the now shortened rear end sticking out. Who knows, with this, the story of the demise of the beloved Dart could evolve in such a way that it becomes fact that Alex actually drove the car into the building as he was rushing there to tell his father about the A+ he got on his history exam.
My second suggestion would be haul the vehicle to Texas to plant it in the Cadillac desert and gather a group of mourners to follow in the funeral caravan.
Sincerely,
Michael Slaughter
Dallas, TX
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Who was the fellow who did the LOVE sculptures? Joe Indiana? Mike Indiana? Judy Chicago? I forget. Anyhow, if it's good for a stamp, it is good for a Dart. Get the car crushed into a cube. Put it at an angle at the Prudential Center or in front of Copley Plaza or wherever--just don't put it in Baltimore--and put DART on it and paint it red, green and blue.
Boom, done.
Requiescat in pace, Dart.
Jacqueline Watts
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I would like to give my suggestion as to what should be done with the famous Dartre. It is Tommy's moral and ethical duty to make rings out of the car. These rings would be given to all Dodge automobile engineers to remind them of the mistakes of the past, so they are not destined to repeat them in the future. This would be very philanthropic on Tommy's part, but for the good of humanity, it should be done.
Cheers, fellows!!
Sev Urban
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Alex should be made to pound the Dartre out flat, using nothing but a hammer; so flat that the Dartre may then be mounted on a wall and viewed as Artre.
Grace
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I suggest that since the Dartre has passed the great existential divide in a way that only a car can, being in both a state of existence and nonexistence, that we enshrine it for all posterity (or at least for the embarrassment of Tom's posterity) by donating it to the Smithsonian. They have Oscar's trash can, the Bunkers' chairs and a gaggle of less culturally significant automobiles. What they really need is an example of the car that made such a significant portion of America's listening public grieve its death.
John O'Connell
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A few options:
1) Open the "Car Talk Museum" at the former site of the Tasty. Now you have something to show.
2) Disassemble the Dartre and reassemble it in Jane Christo's office. During the next fund drive, have people pledge money for bits of it. When Jane sells the whole thing, she gets the office back!
3) Sell pledges to let those folks who hate Car Talk take a swing at it with a baseball bat, sledgehammer, whatever. (Most of the folks who hate Car Talk are pretty wimpy, so you should be able to sell a lot of these.)
Hope this was helpful.
Chris Curvey
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Just like one of those strange people in the "Guinness Book of World Records" who makes the largest foil ball or endures the most bee stings (and still lives!), you (or Alex) can ingest the Dartre. Imagine grinding it up in itsy-bitsy pieces and sprinkling it on your morning cereal or blending it up with a banana to make a tasty smoothie. My mouth waters thinking about the culinary possibilities: cakes, pies, ravioli.ÖBut I wouldn't suggest going through a metal detector after a big meal.
Kaaren Schilke-Cherns
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Be grateful that Alex is alive; after a brief moment of gratitude, send him to a monastery in Tibet. How could he do this to an icon? I first saw the Dartre in 1992--took a picture of it and framed it. As far as the car is concerned, I really like the idea of making it into an altar; Tom could make his home a shrine. People from all over could come to drop off spark plugs, mufflers, etc. Think of the T-shirts, the bumper stickersÖthe list is endless.
My sincere sympathies to you, Tom. Your car lived a good life and will be remembered by all who love you and the car.
maureen nagle
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The solution to "what to do about the Dart" can be found in some recent medical research. The Virtual Man was made up of photographs of thousands of actual 1mm "slices" of a frozen human cadaver, which, when assembled in a computer, createdÖthe Virtual Man!
Why not save the Dart for all time in a similar fashion???
Using this technology, one could "travel" throughout the Virtual Dart (V.D. for short), and it could be regenerated in whatever format necessary via computer graphics.
The Dart would live on forever!!!
LMB
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I believe in recycling. I think it is a great way to save energy. So I think you should recycle parts from the Dartre and use them in your studio. You could replace the chairs you currently use with seats from the Dartre. You could take out the radio and tape player and the antenna and use them to broadcast your show. You could make the steering wheel your new volume control (then your esteemed producer would have a much easier time getting to the volume when you two mess up). Ray could use the stick shift to beat Tommy over the head. These are just some ideas that would allow the legend of the Dartre to live on.
Aaron
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