Keith Clemens sent the following letter(response sent from email@example.com).
Dear Tom and Ray...
You guys have really been showing your age. You often answer questions with mindless babble, laugh at your own jokes, and forget essential details. As a younger listener who, as a tot, was unlucky enough to have heard you in your earlier days, I vaguely remember that there was a time when your ridiculous advice actually made a slight amount of sense. As your advice declines in quality, I look forward to a time when you will step down and pass on the reigns of power to a new younger generation. So far, I have heard no mention of any heirs to the throne of Car Talk Plaza (a holding of dubious value, but I digress...)
I would like to offer my services as heir apparent, since you obviously need a kick in the pants on this issue. I promise to be a loyal subject, and not to commit regicide as have so many heirs since time immemorial. I cannot promise however to refrain from attempting you declared mentally unfit by NPR (please refer to the movie 'The Madness of King George' for source material.)
I would be willing to work cheap, and not to eat too much.