Julius Caesar goes into a bar. “I’ll have a Martinum.” Bartender says, “You mean a Martini?” Caesar responds, “ If I want more than one, I’ll ask for it.” Submitted by Bill Thomas
Q. How was the Roman empire divided up?
A. With a pair of Caesars.
Q. What do you call someone who wears a moth-eaten toga, a face mask and likes to yell?
A. A Holey Roman Umpire.
Q. Why did the Roman Coliseum close?
A. The lions had eaten up all the prophets.