What's the range of a trumpet?
Thirty yards if you've got a good arm.
What's the difference between a viola and a lawsuit?
Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
Why couldn't the string quartet find their composer?
He was Haydn.
How do you fix a broken brass instrument?
With a tuba glue.
How many guitar players does it take to cover a Stevie Ray Vaughn tune?
Evidently all of them.
Why shouldn't you let your kids watch symphonies on TV?
There’s too much sax and violins.