Why do you never see kittens inside big box retailers?
They still prefer cat-alog shopping.
It was the 8:30 a.m. on Black Friday and rumors of the sale of the century were swirling in the crowd that had been forming in the previous few hours leading up to opening time. A small man worked his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back, amid loud curses. "Hey, no cuts," yelled one angry voice. "Yeah! Some of us have been camped out all night!" said another. "The nerve of some people!"
A few minutes later, the same man had managed to find his way to the front of the crowd again. This time the folks in the front of the line got really angry. "We said no cuts!" They grabbed the guy, knocked him around a bit and tossed him back to the end of the line again. "Try that again and you'll get what's coming to you!"
As he got up off the ground, he said to the person at the end of the line… “That does it! If they hit me one more time, I won’t open the store!”
Did you hear about the compulsive rule follower who was banned from the store?
He saw a sign that said "Pants: Half Off"
A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store on Black Friday. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?"
The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend. Can you show me something less expensive?"
How do you save tons of money on Black Friday?
Don't leave your house.
Shameless self promotion alert: If you are doing any shopping today, we suggest you check out our deals and coupons pages. If you do decide to buy anything from these links, Car Talk may get a small percentage. We figure, if you’re shopping anyway, you might feel like helping us out! Thanks in advance for helping us keep the lights on at Car Talk Plaza.
Finally, if you hated these jokes, we're right there with you; that's why we need you to send us a better one! And if you loved these jokes, definitely seek professional help.