A superconductor walks into a bar. "Beat it," the bartender said. "You're not welcome here and you know it." The superconductor left without resistance.
A guy goes into a restaurant and lounge, with his shirt open at the collar, and is stopped by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to get in.
So the guy goes out to his car and he looks around for a tie and discovers that he just doesn't have a one. He sees a set of jumper cables in his trunk. In desperation, he ties these around his neck, and manages to fashion a fairly acceptable looking knot and lets the ends dangle free.
He goes back to the restaurant. The bouncer suspiciously looks him over for a few moments and then says, "Well, okay, I guess you can come in. Just don't start anything."
(Submitted by Roger from Wisconsin)
Two atoms were walking down the street one day, when one of them exclaimed, "Oh no - I've lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" the other one asked. "Yes," replied the first one, "I'm positive."
My friend told me how electricity is measured and I was like, "Watt!?!"
Q: Where do electricians get their supplies?
A: Ohm Depot.