Kraigslist Katastrophes: Butchering the English Language for Fun and Profit

Craig Fitzgerald

Craig Fitzgerald | Feb 11, 2015

Somebody asked me the other day, "How much time do you spend on Craigslist, anyway?"

Well...all of it.

I'm searching for old junk day and night, from the minute I get up to the minute I go to bed. But along with the great deal I'm looking for on that 1977 Pontiac Grand Prix that's been garaged its whole life, the spelling and grammar on Craigslist gives me no end of entertainment.

Yes, I'm looking for an old tractor. In case you haven't heard, we have approximately 943 feet of new snow on the ground here in New England, and I need some means of stacking it up. I love these old Ford Ford Jubilee tractors, so I read the ad with interest, until I came across this description:

It took me five minutes to realize he was talking about the starter "solenoid."

Also, it has a "counter wait out back," which is what I'll be experiencing at AutoZone when I try to find parts for this old heap.

I'm not sure there's ever been a car model that has experienced more creative spelling in its lifetime than the Chevrolet Camaro.

A quick search of the Craigslist in Worcester, Massachusetts reveals three examples of the Chevrolet "Camero."

From there, you can find examples of "Comerro," Comaro," "Camarro" and "Comrrllghfjrhfkdldc."

That Beening said, you might try laying off the cheese and get some greens.

This guy with the Dodge Ram Laramie was doing pretty good:

...until it all went off the rails.

I hope nobody shows up there with a sprained ankle. "I will accept nothing less than a compound fracture! I say 'GOOD DAY,' sir!"

I have no idea what this guy is talking about. And sorry, ladies, I'm assuming this is, in fact a guy. I also assume his name is something like "Smitty" or "Tiny," and he's lost at least half of one toe at some point in his life.

"worst I can say is no all parts life warranty."

Wait, are you saying "Worst I can say is no?" or the worst you can say is that none of the parts are warrantied?

"also have her hair short"

Maybe he was typing out a Craigslist personals ad in another window and got confused? I can't begin to fathom what's going on here.

"chomp down and narrowed to be a 5 lug pattern with a one-time high rise steering system."

OK, maybe this was just the product of some kind of random word generator.

"applesauce liniment corduroy keychain potato salad cup jackpot"

Stay in school, kids.

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