Words of Wisdom from Mom
I got this message from my mother. Don't know why she thought of me.
1. You--off my planet.
2. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
3. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
4. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
5. And your crybaby whiny opinion would be...?
6. I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
7. Allow me to introduce myselves.
8. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
9. Whatever kind of look you were looking for, you missed.
10. I'm just working here til a good fast-food job opens up.
11. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
12. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you weren't asleep.
13. I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.
14. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
15. You say I'm a witch like it's a bad thing.
16. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #2?
17. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
18. Chaos, panic, and disorder! My work here is done.
19. Earth is full. Go home.
20. Is it time for your medication or mine?
21. How do I set a laser printer to "stun"?
22. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.