July 3, 1999

Recently, one of you got himself in a lot of hot water by sayinghis wife looked like a truck. I'm not sure which one it was--Iused to be able to tell you apart, because one of youtraditionally gave better answers to car questions, but I'mafraid even that distinguishing mark appears to be gone. Ibelieve the guilty party was TOMMY...

Anyway, I'm an EXPERT on the topic of how to make a marriagelast (although my ex-wife would probably disagree), and I'm hereto tell you all is not lost. You simply need to be more specificabout what type of truck you are referring to. The next timeyou are on the road and spot some beautiful customized truck ora shining, decked-out, brand-new tractor-trailer rig, turn toyour wife and say, "Hon, that's what I REALLY meant. You looklike a beautiful, fully loaded truck." (Actually, you might want toleave out the "fully loaded" part.)

Also--there are any number of trucks on the road that probablylook much better than your wife. It would be best not to pointthat out.

If all else fails, you could say that you committed a Freudianslip or vacuum leak or whatever, and that you meant to say, "Mywife looks like a million bucks!"

See ya,

Michael Evans
Newberg, Oregon

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