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What Car Should A Clown Drive?

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Boy, do we get mail!

Check out this letter we got from a troupe of clowns who are in the market for a new car -- one they can all fit into. What's your suggestion? Tell us! 

(Aside to clowns: What are they teaching you jokers in clown college these days, anyway? You can't fit yourselves into a VW Beetle? Standards have DROPPED in our humble opinion!)

Clown College conundrum: Is a car with clowns necessarily a clown car?

Hi Click and Clack,

We are clowns. Not the scary kind. Think Charlie Chaplin meets Loony Toons.

We are currently in the market for a clown car to drive five of us across North America. We're traveling the distance- all the way from San Francisco to Montreal and back. We're doing 41 shows in eight cities over almost four months.

Here is the question: We need something appropriate to the clown style, but we are not midgets or contortionists. We would love love love to be able to drive a smart car across the country and back again; however, fitting five grown humans into a smart car for an 8,000 mile road trip seems like a feat that is slightly unattainable. Also, we are on a budget. We mostly get paid in laughter, so we are looking to spend about $3,000. So, if anyone out there has a polka-dotted Mini Cooper that seats eight, we'd be thrilled! Otherwise, what else fits in those parameters and will get us across the continent and back again?

Laughter Forever,

Pi: The Physical Comedy Troupe

To the troupe: We found this article on the physics of clown cars that we thought you might find enlightening. As far as cars, a smart car oughta do the trick. Our work here is done! 

Have some actual useful vehicular advice for the troupe? Let 'em know in the comments. 

Clown car, circa 1979. Not all clowns wear funny noses.
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