60 Minutes

When we first heard that 60 Minutes was going to interview us, well, naturally we were terrified.

Well, thankfully for us, they missed all our skullduggery!

It turns out that Steve Kroft, the guy who interviewed us, was just looking for a free trip to Boston. Seems he had ordered a hand tailored suit from Louis of Boston and was due for a fitting.

But, we discovered a little something of our own. That entire 60 minutes interview? It never happened. At least, not the way they showed it. Our voices were apparently outsourced to out-of-work Japanese talk show hosts.

In the interest of full journalistic disclosure, we thought you'd like to see a few photos from the interview, and samples of the actual transcript of the conversations we had.

Click and Clack, the Tappet Brothers

* * *

"Jen-- on my count-- press Tommy's whoopee cushion button... ready.... 3....2....1. Ooh, I love this job."
"Ma! What a surprise! When did you get out? Oh, they allowed you one call?
"Hey, Steve-- I bet you didn't think the Dart could do 110, huh? Pass the fries, will ya? I can't reach them down there on the floor.
This TV show you're on-- is it new? And who's this Barbara Wa Wa chick you mentioned?
So, Steve-- this handmade suit you bought. What are they getting for it? Three, four hundred?
......Anyway, a Rabbi and a Priest walk into this bar with a duck on a leash....
"This is where our show is produced. But if you're into investigating reporting, there's this place across the street....
The garage is really just a front. We use our customer's cars to move Cuban cigars around our fair city.
"And over here, Ray is sealing a humidor into the hubcap of a '84 Celica."
......Anyway, a Rabbi and a Priest walk into this bar with a duck on a leash....

That's just a small sample of some of the things we talked about. For a transcript of our complete conversation with 60 Minutes, please send $500, a typist and 500 pages of white bond to Car Talk Plaza, Car Talk Towers, Harvard Square, Cambridge Ma., 02238.