"Romanticized as it has been, the Volkswagen bus had noheat, blew over in the wind and used the driver's front legsas its first line of defense in an accident."
Dear Sirs or Madmen:
Your description of the VW bus was completely accurate, but, alas,pathetically unenlightened. Further contemplation will bring you to these epiphanicconclusions:
A) If a VW bus shifts in the wind, it is simply because you are onthe wrong path, heading in the wrong direction. Think of it not asa potentially lethal driving hazard but rather as a "spiritual GPS."
B) Heat? Who among us has actually known heat? Is not one man'sboil another man's frost? Could it be that the sound of one handclapping is actually a VW driver attempting to at once both shiftand survive?
C) Factually, the driver's legs are not the first line of defense.You have overlooked the thick layer of bug guts aerodynamicallymeshed into a natural and practically impenetrable polymercovering the bus's front. In addition, many buses feature a front-mounted Triplated Independent Repealing Emobilizer (TIRE)combining the science of high-cost air bags and the proveneffectiveness of amusement-park bumper cars.
Finally and most importantly, remember that every VW bus is surrounded by the plushand cushioning aura of St. Jerry of Garcia, providing divineTruckin' guidance to freaks, Deadheads, 17-year-old wannabe's and balding40-something used-to-be's.
Balding, frostbitten owner of a goat-vomit green '76 Westfalia