Tips from the Nation's Icebox
Californians put on sweaters
(if they can find one in their wardrobe).
|50||Miami residents turn on the heat.|
You can see your breath;
Californians shiver uncontrollably;
Minnesotans go swimming.
|35||Italian cars don't start.|
You plan your vacation to Australia;
Minnesotans put on T-shirts;
Politicians begin to worry about the homeless;
British cars don't start;
Your boogers freeze.
Boston water freezes;
Californians weep pitiably;
Minnesotans eat ice cream;
Canadians go swimming.
You can hear your breath;
Politicians begin to talk about the homeless;
New York City water freezes;
Miami residents plan vacations farther south.
French cars don't start;
You plan a vacation in Mexico;
Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you.
Too cold to ski;
You need jumper cables to get the car going.
You plan your vacation in Houston;
American cars don't start.
Alaskans put on T-shirts;
Too cold to skate.
German cars don't start;
Eyes freeze shut when you blink.
You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo;
Arkansans stick their tongues on metal objects;
Miami residents cease to exist.
Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you;
Politicians actually do something about the homeless;
Minnesotans shovel snow off roof;
Japanese cars don't start.
Too cold to think;
International Falls Chamber of Commerce sponsors "Freeze Your Gizzard Blizzard Marathon";
You need jumper cables to get the driver going.
You plan a two-week hot bath;
The mighty Monongahela freezes;
Swedish cars don't start.
International Falls natives put on a parka and go ice fishing, snowmobiling and skiing;
Canadians put on sweaters;
Your car helps you plan your trip south.
Congressional hot air freezes;
Alaskans close the bathroom window.
Hell freezes over;
Polar bears move south.
|Read Our Senior Web Lackey's Conversation with Marvin||Check Out the Frigid Tales from Frostbite Falls||Check out Marvin's International Falls Thermometer||Read Car Talk Winter Driving Tips|