Style Invitational: Altering Famous Literary Passages
John Donne: "Never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee."
Mike Ostapiej: "Ding dong. It's for you."
Jane Austen: "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife."
Karen Zachary: "Everybody knows that a rich single dude wants to be married. Not."
Psalm 52: "Thy tongue devised mischiefs; like a sharp razor, working deceitfully. Thou loves evil more than good; and lying rather than to speak righteousness. Selah. Thou loves all devouring words, O thou deceitful tongue."
David Kleinbard, Jersey City: "Liar, liar, pants on fire!"
Edgar Allan Poe: "A feeling, for which I have no name, has taken possession of my soul - a sensation which will admit of no analysis, to which lessons of by-gone times are inadequate and for which I fear futurity itself will offer me no key."
Chuck Smith: "I am soooo wasted."
William Shakespeare: "Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears."
Andrea Kelly: "Hey, YO! Up here."
Shakespeare: "Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more."
Clifford S. Fishman: "Life sucks and then you die."
Matthew 6:34: "Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself."
Maggie Lawrence: "La, la, la-la la-la live for today."
Shakespeare: "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate."
Jane Auerbach, Los Angeles: "You're hotter than Miss July!"