Secession of the Lone Star State
Read by Tommy on the air
Warren Olsen sent the following letter(response sent from firstname.lastname@example.org).
Dear Click and Clack,
The news of secessionist uprisings in Texas got me thinking (instead of working) and, having visited the state of Texas a few times over the years, I find myself supporting the idea of a Republic of Texas.
The secession of the Lone Star state from the United States has much potential upside for the country as a whole. To wit, it would: solve much of the illegal immigration problem; provide a friendly country for disgruntled militia members to relocate to; eliminate the Dallas-Cowboys-as-"America's Team" hype; greatly reduce federal assistance monies for natural disasters and trailer park destruction; allow us to "Forget the Alamo"; markedly reduce the number of executions in the U.S.; make Representatives Tom DeLay and Dick Armey into minor U.N. delegates who would then have to live in New York; greatly improve the chances of a sane gun-control policy; remove "howdy" and "yahoo" from the American lexicon; and add a new international flavor to Walker, Republic of Texas Ranger.
This, of course, is just a sampling of what an independent Republic of Texas could do for the United States. Ambassador Richard McLaren has my support! I would hope he has yours, too!
Warren Olsen Westborough, MA
P. S. Maybe we could export all the Volvo drivers there as well! (Just kidding--I drive an '81 240 DL with 158K on it).