Ron's Leaving His Wife -- For His Cars
Dear Tom and Ray: I collect cars from companies that have gone out of business. So far, I have a 1950 Studebaker, a 1950 Hudson, a 1950 Packard, a 1960 Desoto and a 1960 Edsel. My wife says, "Get rid of them, or I will get rid of you." What should I do? I love these cars more than my wife, and I am willing to move out and find a five-car garage somewhere and just sleep on a cot with the cars. Please advise. -- Ron
TOM: I don't know what you want from us, Ron. I think you've answered your own question.
RAY: You love your old cars more than you love your wife. That's kind of pathetic, but at least you're honest with yourself.
TOM: So, our advice is to keep turning the pages of today's paper until you get to the apartment listings, and look for that rarest of listings: the studio apartment with a five-car garage.
RAY: That'll be your temporary housing. When your wife gets the cars in the divorce and sells them for scrap metal, you can move into a more comfortable one-bedroom.
TOM: Or perhaps you'll think better of this plan and consider a compromise, like storing the cars "off site" and visiting them when you're lonely. Good luck, Ron.