2004 Version of You Might Be a Redneck if...
Your standard of living improves when you
go camping.
Your prenuptial agreement mentions
chickens.
You have jacked up your home to look for a
dog.
You have a relative living in your garage.
Your neighbor has ever asked to borrow a
quart of beer.
There is a belch on your answering machine
greeting.
You have rebuilt a carburetor while
sitting on the commode.
None of the tires on your van are the same
size.
You hold the hood of your car with your
head while you work on it.
Your idea of getting lucky is passing the
emissions test.
Your town put the new garbage truck in the
Christmas parade.
Your local beauty salon also fixes cars.
Your doghouse and your living room have
the same shag carpet.
You've slow danced in the Waffle House.
Starting your car involves popping the
hood.
Your garbage man is confused about what
goes and what stays.
You whistle at women in church.
You actually wear shoes your dog brought
home.
You've been in a fistfight at a yard
sale.
You carry a fly swatter in the front seat
of the car so you can reach the kids in
the backseat.
Tim in Eureka, California
[ As Read on Car Talk
]