Road Rules: India versus New England
Dear C and C:
Your web site is carefully designed to avoid people like me who send you stupid things they wrote so you might read them on the air. Too bad, here's my offering, "Driving in India versus New England." I wrote it about Maine at first, then modified it for Massachusetts. Then I realized that people in Massachusetts drive JUST like the people in India, without the friendly attitude.
My wife and I listen to your show every Saturday while we are working on our old house which is like an old car, only bigger and more expensive, and harder to trade in.
Tom and Nelle
(The following was written on the plane back from Bangalore, India to Portland, Maine in June, 2001)
Road Rules:
India versus New EnglandIn the July 2001 issue of Down East magazine, there was an article about driving in Maine. It then suggested some fine points about driving tips. Having just returned from India, I decided that a "point-counterpoint" approach might be amusing. To be careful, I called Down East magazine and asked for permission to use some of the information in this article. They said, "No problem, just give the credits."
If you are from Massachusetts, do not despair. You will do just fine if you have to drive in India. As a professional courtesy, Boston Taxi Drivers automatically qualify for an India-wide taxi driver's license.
Lets compare the Rules of the Road!
Maine and/or Massachusetts:
It is OK to turn right on red, after making a complete stop.India:
There are no lights, red, green, yellow, nothing. Just honk your horn many times and turn at any time. Continue to smile and wave at everyone.Maine and/or Massachusetts:
Please use your turn signals.India:
There is no need to use turn signals. Simply watch the person in front of you to see which way they might turn. Then, go around them, honking enthusiastically.Maine and/or Massachusetts:
Pedestrians have the right of way.India:
Cows have the right of way. Pedestrians usually stay out of the road. If you see one, it is considered polite to honk your honk several times before AND after you hit them.Maine and/or Massachusetts:
The breakdown lane is for cars that are actually broken down, not for a shortcut to the next exit.India:
There are no lanes. A breakdown "lane" would be any area occupied by a vehicle that has not moved for several hours or a cow that has decided to stop while crossing the street.Maine and/or Massachusetts:
The Passing Lane is used to overtake other cars that might be moving more slowly than you. Please stay out of this lane if you are just cruising.India:
I repeat, there are no lanes. Usually, seven or eight vehicles will be randomly stretched across a roadway one-half the size of Route 1. To pass another vehicle, motorbike, or gas-powered, three-wheeled rickshaw, simply go around them on either side, honking wildly, but with a courteous, respectful tone.Maine and/or Massachusetts:
Roadside attractions should be visited by using your turn signal; pulling over to the right and moving well clear of the road.India:
The entire country is a roadside attraction. There is no need to pull over, simply slow down, roll down your window, and visit with the nearest individual or attraction. The rest of the world will understand and honk encouragingly as they pass you on either side.Maine and/or Massachusetts:
Horns are considered rude and disturb the tranquility of wildlife or slow moving traffic on I-95. Please pretend you don't have one.India:
Horns are more important than brakes, turn signals, or gas. They should be used continuously, though with a distinct pattern or sequence, not unlike Morse Code. They send a series of messages that must be interpreted by the person in front of you:
1. Hello there! How's it going?
2. I'm right behind you,
3. Was that arm gesture a turn signal or are you just glad to see me?
4. Holy cow! Ahead on the right, left or in front of me,
5. I would like to pass you on your right or left, so keep your eyes peeled,
6. I am now passing you,
7. Thanks for letting me pass you,
8. Nice car, motorbike, motorcycle, rickshaw, etc.
9. Are you turning or just weaving through the traffic?
10. Have a nice day,
11. Have a heart attack,
12. See you tonight at the _______________!!Maine and/or Massachusetts:
Road rage is not acceptable and is a clear sign that you have been in Maine and/or Massachusetts less than 3 hours.India:
There is no road rage whatsoever. Everyone is friendly and sociable with a great attitude. Heavy traffic is a good time to visit or socialize. Dead stop traffic is always a great time to meditate or practice your deep breathing.Maine and/or Massachusetts:
Always stop for cows in the road.India:
Same rule. But, if you have any snacks in the car, share them with the cow. He could be your great-great-great grandfather.Have fun and drive safely, wherever you go!
