Life in the Bike Lane
Dear Tom and Ray,
I recently moved to Tempe, AZ, from Bloomington, IN, to work on another university degree. Unlike Indiana, just about everyone here has a cellular phone. Anyway, do you know what I saw today? Of course, you don't. Well, I'll tell you.
I was riding my bicycle to school in the bike lane, of course, and I saw, headed right at me, another bicyclist, also in the bike lane but on the wrong side of the street. This was slightly annoying, since there was another bike lane right there on the other side of the street, going the other way. I was getting ready to take some evasive action so I wouldn't collide with this jerk, when I noticed that not only was he riding on the wrong side of the road heading right for me, but he didn't have his hands on his handlebars! (That's where the brakes are, by the wayÑand the steering mechanism.)
I started to get really steamed -- and slightly afraid -- at this point, when finally I noticed that not only did he have no hands on his handlebars while driving down the wrong side of the road right toward me, but at the same time, he was DIALING HIS CELL PHONE! What HAS this world come to? How hard is it to stop a bike on the sidewalk and talk on your phone? He wasn't even looking where he was going! I just didn't know what to say to him ... or do. Granted, he wasn't careening in a two-ton hunk of metal, but still, if a gust of wind had come along or something, he could have ruined my day!
I'm a pretty mild-mannered guy, so I don't have the personality to think of the clever "you moron" lines, but I know you guys are just chock-full of wit, so let me ask you: What unforgettable thing can I say to this guy next time I see him? (I didn't have time to write out a "Car Talk ticket" as he drifted obliviously by me.) And what sorts of defensive weapons do I need to carry around with me?
Thanks for all your "wise" advice and nifty (or something) radio show.
Steve Yarbro
Master's Student in Saxophone Performance
Arizona State University
Tempe, AZ
P.S. I think the only thing I have yet to see is someone talking on their cell phone while riding a motorcycle ... but then I've lived here for only a couple months.
