Christopher is completely correct. These mega-decibel sound systems have the same effect upon the auditory hair cells as Mount St. Helens had upon the surrounding trees. The resultant waveforms reflecting back and forth within the cranial cavity are probably slowly reducing the neurons and glial cells to primordial ooze, which probably in part explains the individual's self destructive behavior.

Legislation is only as good as enforcement. Many urban areas already have noise ordinances. Perhaps if we closed all the donut shops, as someone suggested, we might see them enforced.

Trish Archer

A solution to the annoyance of the mega stereo is at hand. The constant downsizing of not only government agencies and contractors, but commercial entities as well, provides us with the easy solution to this death by decibels.

We have someone in the US Armed Forces (you must know somebody in a HumVee pretty well) and have them express the dire urge to develop a new and extremely powerful weapon - the Bass Seeking Missile. The BSM will junt down all frequencies below, lets say, 50 megahertz and at decibel levels greater than 60. The source must also be determined to be moving. The weapons will be sold to the United States, who, in their infinite wisdom, will shortly determine that these weapons aren't all they were cracked up to be and will then offer them for public auction. The weapons will then be purchased by interested car-talk listeners, and anyone with better sense, to begin the fight against the annoyances being delivered from ugly cars with neon lights beneath them.

The local police forces will have first crack at the Bass Seeking Missiles (BSM's) as they are always first in line for the good stuff our National government tosses away. The can equip their cruisers (and loyal listeners can equip their poor ragged Volvos, VW's Chevys and such) with on board BSM's. Then, as we patrol the afternoons we can sneak up on these young men whilst they tinker in their mother's front yard on their auto's power stealing devices. They will not be expecting any offensive moves during the day, only at night when they are cruising the streets, thus allowing themselves to be caught unawares of the impending doom that awaits them.

The BSM's will be locked on target, launched as the poor sap tweaks an amplifier, twisted over the back lid of the trunk. The BSM will approach rapidly and noisily (to let humans out of its path) and suddenly come upon the head unit of the victim's stereo. The stereo will be instantly locked to the local public radio station. The amps will be instantly dissolved into little tiny pellets of metallic alloys, falling into holes where they will never be discovered, yet continue to make an annoying sound while driving. Speakers will stay in place, but have no useful function anymore, except to attract more bugs to fall into them and die while the car is locked in the midday heat.

The loud obnoxious foul low riding neon beast will be silenced and they will suffer eternal electrical problems from then on. With a few hundred missiles, a serious impact could be made on this threat to civility.

while I'm sure this plan has some bugs in it, like the fact that planes make big loud low pitched noises and so do some politicians (did I say bugs? what was I thinking) the sacrifice will be worth the loss. I humbly submit my plan to you, Click and Clack Tappet this day July 28th 1996.

Dear C and C

I loved reading about the loud music complaint that was posted on the Rant and Rave section. Where I live there is a law that was pasted this year in Huntsville, AL. (you know Space Camp). What the law states is that anyone who plays their music on a public roadway which can be heard within 20ft will be arrested. That's right arrested. Not a ticket, an actual arrest. Well you can write an Arrest Citation under certain circumstances, however, it is still prosecuted as an arrest. You see, things in the south is not all bad. I love your show, I used to listen to it just to hear you guys talk.

-- Officer S

Two things,

I totally agree with Christopher about the stereos, but the problem will only last for one generation. Music at that level will sterilize you and so all the dummies will not be able to breed and this phenomenon will die out in one generation. Also Christopher does not live in Northern California or he would notice that at least 25% of the dummies are women. They grow them equally stupid up here. Second, and this is going to hit close to the bone here. I have just returned from picking up my Max and the Schnauzer tape from UPS. I am thrilled with the tape, but not with UPS. I found UPS to be very polite, and I can tolerate calling 1-800 numbers to talk to polite convicts in Kansas because is impossible to get in touch with anyone on the local level here. But it is very strange to be asking someone, who is probably behind bars half a continent away, for directions in a small town in California. I am a patriotic American, and I like using the post office, which is five blocks away, rather than the 15 miles away UPS is. I hated UPS, and I still hate UPS. Is there someway to get your stuff through the United States mail like a true red-blooded American should. I am willing to pay extra.

Thank You

The Boom & Thump school of car music is NOT about music. It's about being noticed (a.k.a. coolin' & cruisin') It announces "I'm here, I'm bad, I'm mobile, and you're not..." feeling the pulse. (How could you not? It's only vibrating every bone in your body?

I personally prefer to get my adrenal rushes & testosterone enhancements by cranking up Wagner, Verdi, Bach and Mahler (if Van Halen's not available).

Yes, it appears to be a gender-based problem, and specific to ages 12-30 or less. I've never seen a girl submit to that sheer assault on the senses unless she's given up her right to have equal say with the dude with whom she's hanging.

I have 6 kids, so we've been through it all musically, from heavy metal to hip-hop. The good news is, they all learned to value their eardrums before they lost them.

Despite the sound levels, I'm grateful that my kids have kept me young and in-the-know.

We just established decibel limits when we're home. By the way, the police in our town DO have sound meters, and do ticket the boom & thumpers" regularly.

But as my kids say, "If the music's too loud, yer' too old!"

-- Gerry

I suggest he get some industrial type ear protection (the type aircraft workers use) and drive around his "hood" blasting classical music or (what the hell) car talk! No solution but hey, equal time is sometimes a good thing. You might even get some converts in the process. Imagine, teenagers nation wide blasting Mozart (not in our lifetime).