Tom:

You arrogant, elitist, effete, eastern, pinko-commie liberal technonerd. Who are you to demand that the horsepower-to- weight ratio be regulated? Who gets to decide? And what's magic about .06? What's to keep the lawyers from setting it at 04 or .02?

I've got an idea! Let's legislate a maximum horsepower-to-weight ratio of .01 and a maximum speed limit of 25 mph. This will really help with both safety and environmental concerns. And while we're at it, let's ban the use of fossil fuels for any purpose.

Let's face it, Tom--you're good at being a technocomedian. Stick to what you're good at and leave the policy-making to others.

What we really need is the government to control more of our activities. The government is wise to the needs and desires of its subjects, especially concerning power and the distribution of such. People's desires should be trumped by wiser government. Government understands best what is acceptable to society; the society itself is not able to make coherent choices. Society, comprised of people, cannot be expected to influence markets by purchasing that which is desired and allowing demand to decline, and forcing the subsequent demise for items unpurchased. Government must do this, armed with the knowledge of what is good and right.

Government, on the other hand, is comprised of government. It is benevolent and sage, knowing what is best for its flock. People should relinquish their wanton desire to the government, and there they should await judgment.

Considering the compilation of a brilliant table of horsepower-to-weight ratio, I feel the benevolent government should create a weight-to-height ratio for human beings. Perhaps the government could dictate a sensible ban on items like doughnuts and Big Macs. For God's sake, no one in their right mind needs the sort of power (calories) packed so efficiently into the product that is the Big Mac. Such a table could effectively be used to ban high-power food items and in turn would create a new, slimmer sort of human that would put less stress on the health-care industry. Fat humans could be charged a fat tax proportionate to their expected drain on the system, and foodstuffs could be outright banned from the store shelves.

I get the feeling you really don't even like cars.

Dear Tom and Ray:

After hearing Tom's latest rant on this topic, I had to write again to congratulate you both. You have taken the bait and fallen squarely into the "there ought to be a law" trap.

So what is the answer? Do we outlaw convertibles? Maybe we should include some of my pet peeves in this new law:

Outlaw car phones (supported by one of your polls)
Outlaw elderly drivers (supported by one of your polls)
Outlaw supertinted windows (so we can see if the other driver is looking in our direction)
Mandatory jail time for driving too slow in the left-hand lane
Banish drivers who don't use their turn signals to the Arctic Circle
Banish drivers who leave their signals on forever to the Arctic Circle as well (so they can cancel each other out)

I bet there have been 10 times more accidents on the road caused by someone getting so tickled at something you two say than someone having a wreck because they have "too much power" as defined by you morons.

Government should stay out of our bedrooms and out from under the hoods of our cars.

"I say right on, Tom! I too had hoped that the horsepower wars of the '60s were a thing of the past, and am appalled to see that they are not. I also agree with you that the free market can't take care of **everything**. When the bottom line takes precedence over everything else, you end up with morals in the toilet. Actually, in the landfill.

You didn't mention SUVs. The waste of precious natural resources--petroleum, metals, all of the resources used to manufacture these vehicles, greater air pollution...I could rant more but I'm sure my point is obvious. We should be going toward making vehicles that use fewer of our dwindling resources, not more!"

"I spend more time avoiding idiots in Darts and Hyundais than speeding and outrunning the cops. I bet the only people who respond to your call to write to their congressperson asking them to limit power-to-weight ratios are the ones who secretly want a hot car. One of you lusts after the Jaguar XK-8, if I am not mistaken. What is the power-to-weight ratio on that car? Who is paying you to trash hot cars? I know--Toyota and Nissan. They stopped manufacturing their performance cars to concentrate on mainstream transportation.

So it would be in their best interest to get rid of all fast cars so people will buy more of their people-movers. I know your secret now. Soon your other nine listeners will know too."

Dear Tom and Ray:

I am 19 years old and a "good kid." I don't rob banks, do drugs, cheat on tests or cut tags off mattresses. I have never even been ticketed for speeding. This, of course, doesn't mean I don't exceed the limit. In fact, I do it quite regularly.

I pride myself on my ability to speed without getting caught. (How scary is that?) I know where the highway patrol actually patrols from the experiences of others, and adjust my speed according to the probability of being caught. (It won't work forever, but I'm doing okay so far.) Here's the fun part: if I'm reasonably sure that no one will catch me, I like to see how fast I can go. My parents' car is a '92 Pontiac Bonneville, and it's the only car I've driven with a speedometer that reads up to 120 mph. I got it up to 95 once, but I ran out of road.

I've been trying to quit doing stupid things, cause I know one day I'll sneeze in a corner or hit a patch of sand, and I'll add one more name to the list of candidates for the Darwin Award. And my point? Just thinking about a BMW Z-3, I can feel my pulse quickening and adrenaline and testosterone pouring into my bloodstream. Z-3s are so sexy, when I see one on the road I start drooling. Vipers, naturally, are even more appealing. A few years ago, a Viper carried the homecoming queen around the track at my high school. You can bet the crowd of males weren't gawking at the girl in the back seat. Driving a Viper would turn any man into a testosterone-crazed speed demon, and make most women develop facial hair. The all-American obsession with horsepower has bred generations of addicts who will keep buying the beasts. It's a good thing I can't afford one. I'd kill myself in it. My name is Ben, and I'm a speedaholic.

Dear Tom and Ray,

I am 15 years of age and have grown up listening to your program. Ever since I came into automotive awareness (which was at about age seven), I would sit in my room and listen to my clock radio every Saturday morning. You guys were my heroes, my mentors and my childhood gods. All was right in the world when I listened to your formerly divine radio show.

So you can imagine my surprise and horror upon hearing your program last Saturday, October 10. At first, I believed the radio in my car was off kilter, or maybe a UFO was altering the radio signals to my car. But alas, upon visiting your site, I realized it was true. You are communists! Only a commie would be against all-American sports cars, such as the Mustang, Camaro, Viper and Corvette; the list could go on and on. What were you thinking? It is every good-hearted American guy's dream to own one of the cars listed above. You guys are against everything we "true" Americans are born to dream of. I can't believe that you would rather have some flower-power, pansy-pants Miata! Can't you just hear that four-cylinder roar? HA! I was thinking about taking my lawn mower apart, building a go-cart, and watching it outpower the Miata. I kid you not! This is an automotive outrage. There is nothing in this world like the sound of a V-8 revving up.

I am ashamed of you. I am ashamed that I have spent countless hours listening to nonbelievers such as yourselves. May you be cursed to drive '98 Beetles for the rest of your driving years.

Dear Tom,

Congratulations for your stand! I agree 100 percent. This should be federal law. If you want to own an overpowered car, then race it on a track and don't climb up my back!!!!!!

I'm going to print out your letter and fax it to my representatives, and, if they are not too busy reading the Starr report, they can do something constructive for a change.