Rant and Rave

A Full Power, 4x4 Guest Rant and Rave
from Guest Ranter Roger Mexico

June 17, 1996

Just what IS it with these !@%&**@!!$??!&*#@ "4-Wheels," "4-Drives," "4-Somethings,"....whatever!

These things and their moronic drivers seem to have just multiplied like RATS sometime during the ..Bush years?...or was it Reagan?...SOMETHING toxic must have been in the atmosphere, anyway!

I mean as a caring husband, and Dad of two great kids, I hate having to feel I'm having my life or theirs at risk every time one of these "Jingo Jeeps" barrels by like the proverbial bat out of Hell!!

These WHACKOS drive like Mussolini just gave a ten-hour speech and they're rushing to sign up for his army! Nobody else drives like this!! (although every once in a while you see a beat up old Lincoln Continental with some guy hunched down where the ashtray should be, his arm hanging over the steering wheel, and -- double take! -- no shirt on! Yeah, same driving style.)

The ATTITUDE seems to be: "Look, I'm in the elevated power-seat of this mini-tank, YOU are NOT, so get OUT of MY WAY, or ELSE!!"

There are two or three factions, and I don't honestly know which is worse.

There are the backward-baseball cap, college sophomore meathead variety, with Rush Limbaugh on the radio because their Dad soldered it there.

Then there are the mid-40's "I might be an ex-Green Beret, or at least I like to pose as one" meathead variety, often with a curious glazed and distant look, like wondering what his law-firm partner is up to THIS week.

Yes, and there are also the too-late-for-their-decade Yuppie babe meathead variety, probably a girlfriend or wife of the above, with not a clue as to how they got talked into driving one of these things!

Doesn't matter what age or gender, they will ZOOM up at 60 or better and tailgate your bumper until you drive into a ditch or turn off the nearest exit ramp shaking with rage, or they will just rocket by at 80-85 like you're just a discarded piece of McDonald's wrapper in the way!

I used to think that only 11-year old boys had this kind of unbridled "Outta my way, Granny!" arrogance!

And of course you can't SEE behind these damn things, it's worse than being behind a semi,...

And what the heck are they FOR, anyway?? Are all these Yoohoos transporting lumber and chainsaws?....kegs of beer and deer carcasses?... the entire fire sale lootings from Filene's Basement?....small arms deliveries???!

Tom & Ray...PLEASE, explain it to me! Or if you are as grossed out as I am by these "overgrown lunchboxes on wheels," and the militia recruit wanna-be's driving them, please post or air my Rant!

May the whole gas-guzzling fad suddenly go out of fashion like Sonja Henne's Icerink Tutu!!

Your fan,
Roger

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