Rant and Rave


You arrogant, elitist, effete, eastern, pinko-commie liberal technonerd. Who are you to demand that the horsepower-to- weight ratio be regulated? Who gets to decide? And what's magic about .06? What's to keep the lawyers from setting it at 04 or .02?

I've got an idea! Let's legislate a maximum horsepower-to-weight ratio of .01 and a maximum speed limit of 25 mph. This will really help with both safety and environmental concerns. And while we're at it, let's ban the use of fossil fuels for any purpose.

Let's face it, Tom--you're good at being a technocomedian. Stick to what you're good at and leave the policy-making to others.

Dr. Stephen Whiteaker, Ph.D.

P.S. I also think it is very cruel of you to refer to your
producer as "steamed."

What we really need is the government to control more of our activities. The government is wise to the needs and desires of its subjects, especially concerning power and the distribution of such. People's desires should be trumped by wiser government. Government understands best what is acceptable to society; the society itself is not able to make coherent choices. Society, comprised of people, cannot be expected to influence markets by purchasing that which is desired and allowing demand to decline, and forcing the subsequent demise for items unpurchased. Government must do this, armed with the knowledge of what is good and right.

Government, on the other hand, is comprised of government. It is benevolent and sage, knowing what is best for its flock. People should relinquish their wanton desire to the government, and there they should await judgment.

Considering the compilation of a brilliant table of horsepower-to-weight ratio, I feel the benevolent government should create a weight-to-height ratio for human beings. Perhaps the government could dictate a sensible ban on items like doughnuts and Big Macs. For God's sake, no one in their right mind needs the sort of power (calories) packed so efficiently into the product that is the Big Mac. Such a table could effectively be used to ban high-power food items and in turn would create a new, slimmer sort of human that would put less stress on the health-care industry. Fat humans could be charged a fat tax proportionate to their expected drain on the system, and foodstuffs could be outright banned from the store shelves.

I get the feeling you really don't even like cars.

Mark Adams