Quotes From Women

If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning. -Catherine Aird

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. - Helen Hayes at 73

I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows. - Janette Barber

Who thought up the word "mammogram"? Every time I hear it, I think I'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and sendit to someone. - Jan King

A few weeks after my surgery, I went out to play catch with my golden retriever. When I bent over to pick up the ball, my prosthesis fell out. The dog snatched it, and I found myself chasing him down the road yelling,"Hey, come back here with my breast!" - Linda Ellerbee

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. -Lily Tomlin

You know the hardest thing about having cerebral palsy and being a woman? It's plucking your eyebrows. That's how I originally got pierced ears. - Geri Jewell

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends. - Laurie Kuslansky

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. - Erma Bombeck

Old age ain't no place for sissies. - Bette Davis

A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't. - Rhonda Hansome

The phrase "working mother" is redundant. - Jane Sellman

Every time I close the door on reality it comesin through the windows. - Jennifer Unlimited

Whatever women do, they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. - Charlotte Whitton

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body start sfalling apart. - Caryn Leschen

I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me atonce. - Jennifer Unlimited

When I was young, I was put in a school fo retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they called ME slow! - Kathy Buckley

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb ... and I'm also not blonde. - Dolly Parton

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them. - Sue Grafton

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one yo ucan ride on. - Roseanne Barr

I think therefore I'm single. - Lizz Winstead

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and acareer. - Gloria Steinem

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at homewhich answer the same purpose as a husband. I have adog that growls everymorning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late everynight. - Marie Corelli

If men can run the world, why can't they sto pwearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying anoose around your neck? - Linda Ellerbee

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. - Eleanor Roosevelt