RAY: Hi, we're back. You're listening to Car Talk with us, Click and Clack, the Tappet brothers. We're here to talk about cars, car repair, and the answer to last week's puzzler.
TOM: I just want to tell you in advance that no matter what you say the answer is, there is going to be a lot of controversy about it.
RAY: As long as there is one word that I don't hear, I'll be happy. As long as I don't hear [bogus seven?].
TOM: Well, we'll see.
RAY: Here it is. A couple of months ago, my brother and I went out and bought identical sports cars. Why did we do that, you ask? Because we like to drag race. While we were out, we also bought identical cell phones. Hey, if you can't beat them, join them, right?
TOM: Exactly.
RAY: So, we're planning to drive like nuts while yakking on our cell phones. Anyway, on the hottest day of the summer, I'm driving along in my car, and I come to a traffic light. I've got the windows up, the A/C on, the stereo on full blast, and who pulls up next to me but my knuckle head brother. And like a knucklehead, he's got all of his windows open...he's got the sun roof open. He's blasting Sleepy LaBeef on the stereo at full volume. So I call him on the cell phone and I say, "Hey, do you want to drag race to the next light?" It's like, half a mile away.
TOM: Oh, sure. Okay, go ahead.
RAY: And he says, "Wait a minute, I've got to turn the radio down, I can't hear you." Finally he says, "Okay, you're on, piston puss." Now the cars are identical, our skills are identical, I'm sure. You assume that.
TOM: Yeah, we can assume it.
RAY: The light turns green, and we both floor it. Who wins the race? And why? Well, at first blush....
TOM: Yes, there are many blushes here.
RAY: You might think that Tommy wins the race.
TOM: Why would I think that?
RAY: Because I've got the A/C on, and that's robbing power from the engine.
TOM: Yeah.
RAY: And even though he has the windows open and the sun roof open, we're both playing the stereos full blast. That loss of power getting to the wheels because the air conditioner is on is going to mean the difference in the race.
TOM: Yeah.
RAY: But, I have my windows closed...why? Because I'm not a knucklehead --
TOM: You've got the A/C on.
RAY: ...And I've got the A/C on. You wouldn't have the windows closed if the A/C weren't on. And more than that, here's the little piece that's missing: Most cars have built into their circuitry a throttle position switch which lets the computer shut the air conditioner off when you floor the gas pedal. So, when I floor the gas peddle, not only do I have the advantage of having the sleek aerodynamics of the closed windows, but I also have the air conditioner off, just like Tommy, who thinks he's going to win. But he loses because he's a knucklehead. So --
TOM: Well, since you've changed it.
RAY: Changed what?
TOM: You made the next traffic light be a mile away. That's not a drag race. The next traffic light is a block away, in which case I would have said it would make no difference whatsoever. There wasn't enough time for anything to make any difference. But, I'm going to give it to you anyway.
RAY: All right...anyway, do we have a winner.
TOM: Yeah, we've got a winner. It's a bogus one.
RAY: Boy, sour grapes.
TOM: I knew when you said this puzzler last week that we were going to fight. Because I knew exactly where you were going --
RAY: All right, that's it. From now on, you do the puzzler.
TOM: Our winner is Judy Wilson from Bradenton, Florida. Bradenton is, there is something in Bradenton, like a --
RAY: Pittsburgh Pirates spring training camp.
TOM: That's it. And for having her answer selected at random from the rotting pumpkin full of correct answers that we got, Judy is going to get a 25 dollar gift certificate to the Shameless Commerce Division at the Car Talk section of cars.com. And with that gift certificate, she can get about one and a half copies of our great new music CD, "Car Talk Car Tunes, the Car Talk Compendium of Disrespectful Car Songs."
RAY: This is actually a collection of the best of those car-related tunes that we play when we're heading off to a station break.
TOM: They're very good, actually. It may be our best album yet. You know why? We're not in it.
RAY: Anyway, we'll have a brand-new puzzler coming up in the third half of the show, so don't slam off that dial just yet. In the meantime, if you have a question about your car, or anything else, give us a call. Our number is 888-CAR-TALK, that's 888-227-8255. Hello, you're on Car Talk.
[ Car Talk Puzzler ]
