RAY: Hi, we're back. You're listening to Car Talk with us, Click and Clack, the Tappet Brothers, and we're here to talk about cars, car repair and, of course, the answer to last week's Puzzler. This is the heartwarming story of Crusty's fifth wedding, or sixth, or something--I don't remember exactly. Crusty, of course, you may remember, was a former employee of ours at the garage, and he was on his way to meet his bride at a chapel quite a distance from home. I think it was in Unadilla, New York, in fact.
TOM: Yes, quite a distance from everything.
RAY: And she'd already warned him:if he's late, the wedding's off. So, he fires up his most reliable car, a '65 Falcon, and makes his way across Massachusetts onto Route 7 in New York. A famous route, so...
TOM: Yeah! I remember it.
RAY: OK. Anyway, all's right with the world, when all of a sudden the car backfires, cuts out and coasts to the side of the road, and he immediately figures out that his points have burned out. And he said, "Awww! Jeez! I should have changed those before I left; if only I had another set of points." As luck would have it, he opens the glove box, and there's a shiny new set of ignition points sitting right there.
TOM: Wow!
RAY: And, furthermore, his entire tool kit is in the trunk.
TOM: Wow!
RAY: I mean, what serendipity, hunh? Of course, his tool kit consists of a screwdriver, a jackknife and a hammer, so he opens the hood, takes off the distributor cap and proceeds to remove that little screw that holds the breaker points.
TOM: Ahhh, I remember it now.
RAY: He deftly removes the screw, and he installs the new points. As he is putting the screw back in, he drops it, and where does it go? Inside the distributor.
TOM: Everyone has had this happen to him.
RAY: And, of course, he can't get it out. He can see it; he can even touch it with the screwdriver, but he can't get at it, and he knows that he's done for. So, he runs to the trunk and finds what you normally find in a trunk: a salami sandwich, the bumper jackÉand he first thinks of jacking up the car and tipping it on its roof, but dismisses that because he thinks it might ruin the paint. He also finds a 50-pound bag of Iams dog food...
TOM: Mm-hmm.
RAY: Not to be confused with Youams dog food. A junky old lamp that he bought at a yard sale, that was going to be theÉ
TOM: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
RAY: Wedding present for his bride, and a gallon of Filippo Berio extra virgin olive oil. Using one or a combination of these items, plus his tool kit, he manages to extricate the screw in a matter of seconds, maybe minutes, certainly. And he doesn't tip the car over. How did he do it? So, he had--are you ready? Salami sandwich, bumper jackÉ
TOM: Dog food.
RAY: Fifty-pound bag of dog food, an old lamp, a gallon of Filippo Berio extra virgin olive oil, and, of course, his tool kit: the screwdriver, the jackknife andÉ
TOM: The hammer.
RAY: The hammer.
TOM: Wow!
RAY: What does he do? What does he do? What does he do?
TOM: I have to say, I'm baffled by this one. I'm baffled. But I know it's going to be great.
RAY: You do, hunh?
TOM: Yeah. I know, I remember now when you stated this Puzzler last week, I said, "It must have something to do with the lamp."
RAY: You're right.
TOM: But I couldn't figure out what.
RAY: You couldn't figure it out?
TOM: Nah.
RAY: He takes the lamp cord, realizes that this isn't going to be his bride's wedding present after all, and he cuts the cord.
TOM: With the knife.
RAY: With the knife. He then baresÉwith his jackknife he then bares the ends of the cord so that he has a wire with the insulation removed. He then wraps that lamp cord around the screwdriver and, touching the bare ends to the battery, turns his screwdriver into anÉ
TOM: Electromagnet.
RAY: Electromagnet. And in the second he pulls out the screw and before the lamp cord catches fire, he installs the screw, sets the points, and he was two hours late for the wedding. She was gone when he got there. But he did make it. You know, the moral of the story is that you can make it if you have to, but he was a little late.
TOM: Wow! An electromagnet!
RAY: An electroÉwho would have thought, right?
TOM: Beats me! I do know! I know that Adrian Overman, from Concord, North Carolina, figured it out, and for having her correct answer chosen from among the two correct answers that we got this week, she's going to get a copy of our new book of Puzzlers: "A Haircut in Horsetown."
[ Car Talk Puzzler ]
