New Puzzler, 5/24/97:

RAY: OK. Look. It's time for the new puzzler. It's an old puzzler and --

TOM: I'm all ears.

RAY: Many, many times in the last several months people have asked me where the expression our fair city comes from?

TOM: Yes, indeed.

RAY: Well, I've told people that it comes from a puzzler of yesteryear.

TOM: Yes.

RAY: And I felt it appropriate to repurpose that puzzler for today's show.

TOM: Yeah. Good.

RAY: And if I can remember it because I had it written down once, but I'm going to try to remember it. You'll have to help me along because now that your memory has been restored.

TOM: Oh, it has?

RAY: You'll be able to assist me. Here it is. A well-dressed gentleman enters a bank, approaches a teller and begins to tell his tale of woe. He says, "Pardon me, Madam, I hope you can help me. You see I'm an English professor at Northwestern University and I am a visitor to your fair city --

TOM: Your fair city?

RAY: And I find myself in need of someone's help. I'm here visiting your fair city with my wife and my two daughters and I have no money with me because what has happened is my wife and my oldest daughter have gone out shopping this morning and taken my wallet which contained my cash and credit cards --

TOM: And ID.

RAY: And identification, of course. Yes. And left me alone with the other daughter who has taken ill and I must buy her some medication, but I have no money and if you would be kind enough to cash a check for me for $50, that would be a great help to me and my daughter.

TOM: Yes.

RAY: The teller looks at him, up and down. He's well dressed, distinguished looking, obviously quite articulate.

TOM: Little bit of a British accent.

RAY: Little bit of British accent. An English professor from Northwestern University.

TOM: Pedantic and pretentious.

RAY: Pedantic, pretentious.

TOM: Snob.

RAY: Everything that you would expect a college professor to be and he's wearing an ascot, of course. Where did he get his ascot? Anyway, the teller looks at him and says, "I won't be able to help you sir because you are a fraud and a liar."

TOM: Ooh!

RAY: And he says, "Pardon me?" But she was absolutely correct. What was it? And you know everything you need to know from this little narrative to solve this puzzler.

TOM: This is good.

[ Car Talk Puzzler ]