I really liked your puns on last week's show on August 25th! Tell Ray you should keep the Daiquiri Doc one!
Here's my humble offering:
There was once a snail that was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow. He decided to get some fast wheels to make up the difference. After shopping around a while, he decided that the Datsun 240Z was the car to get. So the snail goes to the nearest Datsun dealer and says he wants to buy the 240Z, but he wants it repainted to read 240-S.
The dealer asks, "Why?"
The snail replies, "S stands for snail. I want everybody who sees me roaring past to know who's driving."
Well, the dealer doesn't want to lose the unique opportunity to sell a car to a snail, so he agrees to have the car repainted for a small fee.
The snail gets his new car and spent the rest of his days roaring happily down the highway at top speed. And whenever anyone would see him zooming by they'd say "Wow! Look at that S-car go!"
Keep up the good work!
John Latsha, P.E.
A frog goes into a bank. He waits his turn and hops to the next open teller, one Ms. Wack. He requests a loan. She checks his info and informs him that the bank will require collateral. He promptly pulls a small statue from his pocket and places it on the counter. Upon studying the statue, she informs the frog that the bank won't accept it. But he is insistent, so she calls over the bank manager. After Ms. Wack explains the situation, the manager immediately replies, "It's a knick-knack, Patty Wack. Give the frog a loan."
Hope you enjoy...
The Buckridge family, Anchorage, Alaska
All the employees of Car Talk were standing in the courtyard of Car Talk Plaza singing "Ave Maria" and singing it beautifully. Oddly, each of them was holding an apple in one hand and tapping it rhythmically with a pencil.
A visitor listened in wonderment to the performance and then approached the conductor of the choir. "I am a retired choir director," he said. "This is one of the best choirs I have ever heard."
"Yes, I'm very proud of them," said the conductor.
"You should take them on tour," said the visitor, "what are they called?"
"Surely that's obvious," replied the conductor..."they're the Moron Tapanapple Choir."