Car Talk: When did you start listening to Car Talk?

I started listening in college, when I had parties and nobody came. (I would buy food and booze, then play cards alone with Melissa Smith. We would forget to invite people.) I understand many Car Talk listeners are weird, aloof loners, so I guess I fit right into the target audience.

Car Talk: So -- what happened after your call to Tom and Ray? Did Dario cave in?!

After we were on the show, my cache with weird, aloof loners skyrocketed. This is a great demographic for me, so thanks. And no, Dario did not cave in. I decided to take Bobby Knight's advice, somewhat permuted: if it is inevitable, just sit back, relax, and enjoy it.

Car Talk: Is it true that you once said, "I owe everything to Tom and Ray. I couldn't have done it without them"?

Um, no, I never said, "I owe everything to Tom and Ray." We discussed it, but the money wasn't good enough.

Car Talk: Could you say this for us when you win an Oscar?

I will try to work the comment in -- but it will be in second position to Kentucky basketball.

Car Talk: What sort of damage control does your publicist have planned, now that you've been on Car Talk?

My publicist is sending me to Japan to promote my movies there.

Car Talk: What back-up career do you have planned, now that you've been on Car Talk?

I think I should explore that karaoke scene in Japan. I also hear Korea is hoppin.'

Car Talk: Know any other celebrities who listen to Car Talk, whom we can "out"?

Well, many celebrities are weird, hostile loners, and I don't want to cross them. I hesitate to out them -- I might still have to work with them!

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