Dear Tom and Ray:

I really enjoyed these -- doesn't that just figure? I liked thelast one best, though. : )

1. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she wasthe East River. (Brian Broadus, Charlottesville)

2. Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steeltrap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rustedshut. (Sandra Hull, Arlington)

3. The door had been forced, as forced as the dialogue during theinterview portion of "Jeopardy!" (Jean Sorensen, Herndon)

4. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do. (Jerry Pannullo,Kensington)

5. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlikePhil, this plan just might work. (Malcolm Fleschner, Arlington)

6. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from noteating for a while. (Malcolm Fleschner, Arlington)

7. "Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like acollege freshman on $1-a-beer night. (Bonnie Speary Devore,Gaithersburg)

8. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck,either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe fromstepping on a land mine or something. (John Kammer, Herndon)

9. Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone whocan tell butter from I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. (BarbaraCollier, Garrett Park)

10. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dogmakes just before it throws up. (Susan Reese, Arlington)

11. It came down the stairs looking very much like something noone had ever seen before. (Marian Carlsson, Lexington)

12. The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Rep. Sheila JacksonLee (D-Tex.) in her first several points of parliamentaryprocedure made to Rep. Henry Hyde (R-Ill.) in the HouseJudiciary Committee hearings on the impeachment of PresidentWilliam Jefferson Clinton. (J. F. Knowles, Springfield)

13. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended oneslender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. (JenniferHart, Arlington)

14. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegratedbecause of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like asurcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM. (Paul J. Kocak,Syracuse)

15. The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillatingelectric fan set on medium.

16. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids aroundwith power tools. (Brian Broadus, Charlottesville)

17. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heardbells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up. (Susan Reese,Arlington)

18. She was as easy as the "TV Guide" crossword. (Tom Witte,Gaithersburg)

19. Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten toput in any pH cleanser. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

20. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he wasroom-temperature Canadian beef. (Brian Broadus, Charlottesville)

21. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missinglegs. (Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park)

22. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentallystaple it to the wall. (Brian Broadus, Charlottesville)

23. Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a bandtightened. (Sue Lin Chong, Washington)

24. A branch fell from the tree like a trunk falling off anelephant. (Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park)

25. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its twoother sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master. (Sue Lin Chong,Washington)

26. The sardines were packed as tight as the coach section of a747. (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)

Steven Weed

[ As Read on Car Talk ]