Texas Bix Bender-isms

Quotes from Texas Bix's books "Don't Squat With Your Spurs On!" and "Don't Squat With Your Spurs On II!," published by Gibbs-Smith Publishers, and available at finer mercantiles everywhere, or online at Too Slim's Mercantile at ridersinthesky.com.

1. Don't squat with your spurs on.

2. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

3. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back in.

4. If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

5. If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

6. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him...
The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

7. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

8. There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.

9. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

10. Never slap a man who's chewin' tobacco.

11. When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.

12. When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.

13. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.

14. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

15. It doesn't take a genius to spot a goat in a herd of sheep.

16. There are three kinds of men:
The ones that learn by reading.
The few who learn by observation.
The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

[ As Read on Car Talk ]