McDonnell Douglas Warranty Card
Thought if anyone would, the boys would appreciate this. No doubt urban folklore, but first rate nonetheless!
The following was a page put on the McDonnell Douglas Internet homepage by a worker with a sense of humor. The company took exception to it, however...
Important! Important! Please fill out and mail this card within 10days of purchase.
Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. Inorder to protect your new investment, please take a few moments tofill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the surveyquestions is not required, but the information will help us todevelop new products that best meet your needs and desires.
Latitude: Longitude: Altitude:
|2.||Which model aircraft did you purchase?|
|3.||Date of purchase:|
|5.||Please check where this product was purchased:|
_Received as gift/aid package
_Sleazy arms broker
|6.||Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglasproduct you have just purchased:|
_Heard loud noise, looked up
_Recommended by friend/relative/ally
_Political lobbying by manufacturer
_Was attacked by one
|7.||Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced yourdecision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:|
_Recommended by salesperson
_McDonnell Douglas reputation
_Advanced weapons systems
_Negative experience opposing one in combat
|8.||Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:|
_Misc. Third World countries
|9.||Please check the products that you currently own or intend topurchase in the near future:|
|Product||Own Intend to Purchase|
|10.||How would you describe yourself or your organization? Check allthat apply:|
|11.||How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?|
_Suitcases of cocaine
|12.||Occupation||You Your Spouse|
|13.||To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, pleaseindicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouseenjoy participating on a regular basis:|
|Activity/Interest||You Your Spouse|
Default on loans
Watching sports on TV
Mutually assured destruction
Thanks for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnellDouglas serve you better in the future--as well as allowing you toreceive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups and mysterious consortia.
Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:
McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION