From: Mark Seidenberg

WHEN A MAN SAYS TO A WOMAN, "Take a break, honey, you're working too hard." THE TRANSLATION IS, "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

WHEN HE SAYS, "I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses." IT MEANS, "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

WHEN A MAN SAYS, "Have you lost weight?" IT MEANS, "I just spent our last hundred bucks on a cordless drill."

WHEN HE SAYS, "I can't find it." IT MEANS, "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands yet."

WHEN HE SAYS, "What did I do this time?" HE MEANS, "Which thing did you catch me at?"

"You look terrific," MEANS: "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."

WHEN HE SAYS, "You cook just like my mother used to." HE MEANS, "She used the smoke detector as a meal timer, too."