Don't transform like my brother

Dear Tom and Ray,

I am an artist living in Tallahassee, Florida, and I listen to your podcast religiously.

Recently, I took to designing Transformers because of the new movie, and two characters
in particular came to mind one Saturday while listening to your show. No one has ever
designed Transformers based on you before (I can't imagine why) so I gave it a shot. My
dad encouraged me to submit them to you and so, being on your site, I saw little harm in
sending 'em your way. I hope you like them!

Can't wait for next Saturday's show!

Sincerely,

Matt Seeger

P.S. Transformers toys usually come with a bit of writing on the back of the box, giving details about the character(s), so I've added one to the email because I have way too much time on my hands.

"Crank and Bump weren't always the inseparable knuckleheads they are now. Once, eons ago, the Great War tore a rift between them, with Crankcase joining the ruthless Decepticons like their father before them and Bumper defecting and joining the virtuous Autobots. They were both extremely lousy and disappointing fighters. However, not long after their division, on a hazy, war-torn evening, they found themselves pitted against one another in combat. It seemed that the only real threat was from their treacherous surroundings, as indicated when the two stumbled over a cliff. The fall almost put Bumper into stasis lock (the Transformer equivalent of a coma). Crankcase realized once and for all that war really isn't his gig, and after his brother was blessed with a second chance by rerouting some severed wires, the two vowed to never let silly things like politics get between them again. They now reside on a distant asteroid, where the two run a decidedly neutral repair service, spending their days as extremely lousy mechanics, repairing Autobot and Decepticon alike and overcharging them both."